Sir

My BDSM Aftercare Kit – Whats in it and Why? + Friday Mornings Diary Entry – {Sir Week}

When I initially started looking into information on BDSM it was largely all reading materials and in secret. This was many years back when I really was unsure on myself and my place in a community like this. All I knew at the time was what I liked in secret and how it made me feel so I wasn’t searching out BDSM per se, I was searching for a place where people had similar tastes and stumbled upon it. One of the first things I learned pretty early on in my discovery when it came to BDSM was about aftercare. I am an avid reader so my first view into the community was through blog posts, articles and photos. It was quite a bit of time before I saw what that looked like in video form. All that I knew about aftercare was from people’s personal experiences and I knew that if I ever got the gumption to seek out a Dom it would be a requirement in my book. If a Dom had no clue on what aftercare was or if they knew what it was but didn’t think it was useful or it was just something they didn’t practice…it would be a red flag for me and they would not be my choice in a potential D/s relationship. For me its an important part whether I feel like I need it after a play or not….but the option has to be there.

The simple explanation for what aftercare is would be the time after a scene where there’s communication about what happened, positive reinforcement and taking care of the needs of each other after the session. Since scenes can be intense both physically & emotionally and after you may need to come down , its an important part. Usually its done by the Dom for the sub, the care given to the sub after the session. I will link an article that goes into much greater detail for those of you who are interested in more information. The needs of a person after a scene can vary based on what was done in the session and they’re not all materialistic needs – some people need to be cuddled, others like there hair combed or prefer a special blanket after etc.

When I received the email from Sir offering me an evaluation session I knew that I wanted to have my own aftercare kit for several reasons. 1. Because I feel like its a good thing to bring to any session just in case 2. I would be staying overnight after my session and I knew that Sir would do aftercare with me on his own but he wouldn’t be around the whole night for anything additional, if needed 3. It would be my first session with him and i’d have no clue how i’d feel or what i’d need and it was important for me to have everything in one easily accessible place (i’m a big planner lol). I will share below the things that I chose to put into mines for that particular session but I will say that the items are not things that I would bring every time …they are specific to the situation. For example I was staying overnight so I would bring a nightgown whereas if I was going for just a 2-3 hr session i’d change that to a loose fitted shirt and yoga pants to wear home. The basis for my choices in what I put into the kit was simple….things that make me happy, feel good and are encouraging. It’s important to have the things whether material or not that make you happy because you want to get back to a form of normalcy and if you go into subspace you don’t want to drop shortly after.

I packed everything into a watermelon pouch which will be pictured above. The pouch is pretty big and I could fit a lot into it. I wanted to make sure that everything was in the same place so that I wouldn’t be rummaging through my bags searching for various items considering there was a large possibility that i’d be exhausted. The watermelon bag really speaks to what I like which is bright colors, hearts and glitter. When I look at the bag it makes me happy…its truly the small things, the fact that seeds are the shape of hearts makes me smile.

Honey Vanilla Chamomile Tea & White Honey Tea Spoon – I am a tea loving girl so I packed two of my current favorite tea bags because tea makes me happy. A nice hot cup of tea soothes me and it was important for me to have it. I love my white honey tea spoon, I don’t have to add any sugar, I just stir my tea with it and it makes everything better.. Sadly I haven’t been able to find them since Teavana went out of business.

Night Gown & Comfy Slipper Socks- I was staying the night after my session so I packed a nightgown. I knew I wanted something loose fitted and colorful. Colorful because the goal was to only include things that make me happy when I see them. I love to sleep in socks specifically cozy socks…the ones that are furry and warm. I packed a cute pair of baby groot slipper socks because he’s my favorite part of those movies.

Disney Band aids & Polysporin – I love Disney and if I had anything that would require a band aid I wanted to see something that would make me smile soo Mickey & Minnie always do that. I like polysporin, its an antibiotic ointment for cuts, scrapes, burns etc and it works.

Girl Scout Cookies, Skittles & Starburst – Trefoils to be exact, its girl scout season and the cookies go great with tea. I figured it would also be a pretty good snack as well even if eaten by themselves. Candy makes the world go round…do I really need an explanation for that? 🙂

Nail Polish – I love polishing my nails, I find it to be rather therapeutic. I take an excessive time to sit and do them. I had intentionally only polished my nails clear/faint pink for the session. I knew I had plans the next day so if I might be feeling up to it afterwards I would polish my nails as I parsed through my thoughts on the session .

Wash cloth – I find showers and baths to be really nice and I plan to take a bath after. I just figured it would be a good idea to bring my own cloth, a grey one that I really like.

Things that were not “physical” in nature but I consider apart of the kit

Netflix – I have the Netflix app on my phone and I downloaded one of my favorite movies that I find hilarious to watch as well.

Spotify – I created a playlist prior to my session with songs that are calming and inspiring to me and consider to be something I can use before and after a session

I feel like creating your own aftercare kit is super easy, all you really have to know are the things that make you happy. It’s also important to know what will go on in your session prior this way you can make the necessary adjustments. Its really all about you and your personal needs so there’s no wrong way to go about this. – Sadie ❤

Friday Morning’s Diary Entry – Day of Session

(If you haven’t read yesterdays blog you should do that now by clicking this link because the blogs are being written in a specific order this week and you may be a bit confused if you just start here. Yesterday’s blog ends on Thursday evening the night before my session . On Friday the day of my session I didn’t have to work so I had the opportunity to sleep in a bit. Before I even got out of the bed I started to journal because I wanted to keep a hold my thoughts at the time. This is literally the journal entry which gets cut short once I roll out of bed and start my day. Since it’s a small piece I’ve decided to add it to this post 🙂 )

It’s 7:57am and I’m still laying in the bed focused on what’s to come today. In about 12 short hours I’ll be in the place that I asked and pleaded for…for months, but the question is am I ready? I woke up about 30 minutes ago and the first thing that popped into my mind after “I need to call my mom today” is I need to get myself centered for what’s ahead. It’s important for me not to slip up and mistake Sir tonight for my sweet, kind, loving, patient, soft and understanding partner Wicked. Although I don’t Sir there are a few things that I’ve gathered over time 1. He’s not flexible 2. He won’t take me be mouthy 3. He’s demanding . I remember one day I sent him a meme about tights and I commented back “oh demanding” his response was “you haven’t even met my demanding side “ I stored that at the back of my memory lol! 4. He doesn’t have any problem exercising his domination 5. He doesn’t mind being rough. Recently we were having sex and I mentioned how he could do *blank* to me . Sometimes I fall into that small space on the line between sensual sex and a lot rougher sex that’s not meant for a sensual setting or even your run of the mill vanilla rough sex. It has to do with my more submissive tendencies that I can’t switch off so because of this there are times when I ask him for things that I know are pushing the line just because in that moment its a strong desire . He never fails in saying no, its a good thing he has enough will power for the both of us. In any case in a very hot and sexy way he leaned in real close and whispered in my ear how he knows that he can do *blank* to me but this wasn’t the right place for that . But no worries because one day he’ll fuck me so hard I’d wish I never met him….I didn’t forget that 🙂 I also stored that at the back of my mind about Sirs potential.

Yesterday’s blog for Sir Week : Waiting with Bated Breath – The Email I’d Been Waiting For

[ I write a new blog post every Monday. Feel free to comment and follow…I don’t bite 🙂 This week is “Sir Week” and there will be a new post everyday M-F as you follow my thoughts and the journey leading up to my first formal BDSM evaluation session. I will share all the juicy details along with how I prepared, how I felt, what I learned, the highlights etc. (Correction** I will share all the details that I have permission to since Sir has complete editorial power over what I share in regards to him on this blog) It’s something I waited a long time for so I have a lot to say. Outside of being a blogger I am a big memory keeper through the use of journals, scrapbooks, daily pictures etc. I write these blogs and share them with the world for your entertainment but its also very important to me to hold onto the memories so every little and minor detail matters. Come back tomorrow 🙂 ]

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