bdsm, Sir

Waiting with Bated Breath – The Email I’d Been Waiting For….{Sir Week}

I was away on a trip out of town to handle a very sad and stressful family situation. The days prior I had long days between work and trying to help my family sort things out. I spent hours & hours on the computer and phone throughout that week which culminated with a trip to Office Max where I just broke down and cried profusely but silently at the register as I tried to pay for my items because things just weren’t going well. I knew it was bad when the lady at the counter had to offer me a box of tissues. Wicked had come to my rescue twice that week to help me get the things I needed to get done accomplished. He was truly my saving grace. At the end of that week I had to take a very very long bus ride which had a 4 hour layover at four in the morning. By the time I arrived to my final destination I was only working on about 3 hours of sleep and was rushed straight into family festivities. From the time I arrived around ten in the morning to midnight I just coasted through the day focused on every one else and there needs. By the end of the night I was ready to crash.

The next day which was Saturday, I spent with lots of family just reminiscing and catching up on the good ole days. Time with family can be so fulfilling. We talked about the previous days events, played a few good games, took a group trip to the supermarket and sat in a drive thru for way too long. When we returned I spent some time in the kitchen helping my grandmother cook which I really enjoyed . There’s nothing like a West Indian grandma that knows how to cook and not only does she know how to cook but she’s willing to teach. The first thing I ever learned how to cook as a little girl she taught me. She taught me how to crochet when I was seven and how to cross stitch shortly after that. She was the first person to show me the world and take me on vacations out of the country so that I could see there’s more to life. We ended up making baked chicken, fried fish, broccoli, rice and peas, plantains, potato salad and baked two cakes. After dinner was done, laughs were shared and when we got family into there cars, buses and trains to head back to there homes I could finally lay down for some much needed rest.

I went upstairs to the third floor in the house to where i’d been sleeping to rest. I laid down right in the middle of this very firm massive air mattress and decided to check my email. The house is currently going through renovations so the third floor is not fully furnished. I refreshed my email app and saw that I had a new email right at the top. I recognized the name of the person sending it but it was coming from a different email address…one we hadn’t used to correspond with previously. I thought to myself “Could this be the email I’ve been waiting for? Nooooo can’t be.” I had made the choice to just write Sir directly exactly 13 days before and I patiently..or maybe not so patiently waited for a reply. Let me tell you those 13 days felt like forever. Up until this point I had been checking my email every single day. I know what you’re thinking…Damn 13 days sounds like a long time for an email response and it was but he had reason for that. If you haven’t been following the blog, you’ll have to read “His Domination & My Burning Desire” and that will tell you all that you need to know. To my surprise it was exactly the email that I had been waiting on baited breath for…my response from Sir. A smile immediately filled my face as I read the offer of an evaluation session. He offered me a session…finally and I was ready for it. So I wrote him back that night and let him know that I’d be happy to take the session . The funny thing was that I had been asking and asking and asking and waiting and waiting some more for this but the moment I sent my reply confirming that i’d take the session I instantly got nervous. It was a combination of nervousness mixed with excited anticipation.

The only downside was that I realized the day that he offered me was likely the day my period would come….blah. I am a very regular girl when it comes to my period so I knew if the calendar said she was coming..she was definitely coming. I didn’t want to have that ruin the opportunity, so I had to let him know when I accepted the invitation knowing there was a possibility he might cancel it. However I am a fairly optimistic girl and I figured there’s both the mental and physical parts to it so if need be it could be only mental and physical but not in a penetrative physical way. I spoke to Wicked about it and it was thought that a different day would be better . It was initially planned for a Sunday but we settled on doing it sooner on that Friday evening. All I had to do was confirm with Sir .

As I waited for his reply even though I hadn’t heard back yet and had no clue on how to prepare I still figured I’d try to get myself ready on my own. I knew at the basis of things that I wanted to look presentable so I started searching for an outfit although I wasn’t sure yet if he’d require something specific. I knew I wanted to be perfectly groomed and I wanted to do it myself. I knew that I wanted my own aftercare kit so I started jotting things down for that. It was also important for me to have my toes and nails polished. I love to polish my nails and I tend to polish them on a weekly basis . I however am not at all a fan of my toes and I don’t like for people to see them so I polish those whenever there is a possibility they might be seen. As I waited I started jotting down a schedule for the things I wanted to get done prior to that Friday evening because I am also a very big planner. There were a combination of things I needed to get done since I was also going to be staying for that weekend after the session was over.

I woke up on Thursday morning super early since I had to be to work around four in the morning. I sat up in bed and the first thing I did was reach for my phone to go to my mail app. The gmail app on iPhone doesn’t sync automatically so I pulled down the screen to update and patiently waited. Then I saw “1”, meaning there was 1 email in my inbox and I got excited but just a little. It could be a WordPress alert or a bunch of other things so I didn’t let my excitement run rampant. I opened my inbox and there it was the email I’d been waiting for with Sirs instructions. Up until that point I was pretty anxious but after I read the email I was surprisingly at ease. I didn’t feel nervous or anxious anymore, just excited. I think it’s because I had gotten just a glimpse of light into what to expect. I was excited about picking out my outfit and finding the right shoes as he requested…..”Your shoes should be simple and easy to remove” . I started to think about whether I was going to wear panties or not since there was potential for them to be damaged . I started focusing on a plan to center myself so that I’d be ready. There was something about that email that just made me happy.

The confirmation email gave very detailed instructions…..what to wear, what not to, what could happen in the session, what time to arrive, the date etc . After work I started getting myself ready for my session the next day. I laid out several options for my outfit that fit within the perimeters of what he requested . I took what felt like the longest shower known to man and trimmed almost every nook and cranny. I wasn’t to sure on how to “center” myself so I created a Spotify playlist of songs that both inspire and calm me . You’d think that it would be easy to pick out an outfit when given very specific instruction….but not really. I laid out at least 6 black tights , 4 black tops, 3 black socks and really tried them all on to see which one I thought would work.

I know when I use both Wicked and Sir, it can be confusing sometimes even for me lol. Wicked and Sir are the same person. I call him Wicked when I refer to him in a romantic setting and Sir in a D/s world. It’s like being in two separate relationships with one person where the lines never cross if done successfully. The only crossover for me between the relationships is my level of trust. Up until this point I’ve never encountered his more dominant side in the persona of Sir. But the basis of my trust in Sir comes solely from our romantic relationship in which I trust him completely. So I may go into it with nervous anticipatory butterflies but I don’t go into it with fear because I already trust him. – Sadie ❤

[ I write a new blog post every Monday. Feel free to comment and follow…I don’t bite 🙂 This week is “Sir Week” and there will be a new post everyday M-F as you follow my thoughts and the journey leading up to my first formal BDSM evaluation session. I will share all the juicy details along with how I prepared, how I felt, what I learned, the highlights etc. (Correction** I will share all the details that I have permission to since Sir has complete editorial power over what I share in regards to him on this blog) It’s something I waited a long time for so I have a lot to say. Outside of being a blogger I am a big memory keeper through the use of journals, scrapbooks, daily pictures etc. I write these blogs and share them with the world for your entertainment but its also very important to me to hold onto the memories so every little and minor detail matters. Come back tomorrow 🙂 ]

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