When I first received my butt plug in the mail nicely wrapped in flexi foam in a nice small red velvet bag…I thought to myself this will be fun. I had been anxiously awaiting its arrival after scouring the web for something that was both small and stylish. I settled on a nice steel plug with a big purple rhinestone in it…since of course purple is my favorite color. By the time I purchased this plug I felt like I was ready for further anal exploration on my own. My interest in anal play started after reading about the extra pleasure anal could add to orgasms. I read a lot in general about various subjects and sex is no exception. I’ve always had this goal of reaching the sexual heights that the books talk about. I feel like there’s so much that I haven’t experienced and there’s so much more i’d like to learn about . I’ll get straight to the point on the major benefit that I’ve gotten since trying anal play because if you’re going to try something the benefits are important. The biggest thing I noticed almost immediately was that my vaginal orgasms last longer and not only are they longer but a lot more intense. It’s the major thing that keeps me going on my quest of anal exploration. When you are having an orgasm and everything in your body starts to tingle along with the rush of all your emotions at once..its insane. Now I should say this is my personal experience so I can’t speak for everyone.
Prior to trying it on my own I did read various blog postings on what lubes to try and honestly they were a bit contradictory. So as a real woman who has the experience of trying this rather blindly initially I figured I should share my experience as well as my tips. I am still a beginner and have not had full on anal sex yet (but when I do you’ll be the first to get the run down lol) but I have had fingering both solo and with my partner. I’ve also used my plug both solo and with my partner. I can give you tips for all those situations since they are all very different. I am an advocate for trying things the first time on your own before trying with a partner just so you have more of a grasp on your own body.
My Experience with Solo Anal Play
The first time I tried it with my fingers alone I had no clue what I was doing..its one thing to read something and its a completely different thing to actually do it.I tried it the first time after I had masturbated since I had heard that if you masturbate first then you’re more stimulated and that would help it go in. I started off by using my finger before ever deciding to purchase a butt plug. I quickly learned that the anus is nothing like the vagina so if you just aim and push…you may be going no where. Hurdle #1 was finding the actual place that I needed to be pushing my finger so that I wasn’t adding more pressure to an already nerve wrecking situation. I used the wetness from my vagina since I had recently orgasmed and started to just massage the outside of it. Then once I found the right spot I slowly eased it in…at first it does feel odd and it also feels like you want to poop..but you don’t and you wont. I believe that particular sensation changes over time. In that first time I just slowly fingered myself without the use of my vibrator since I had already used it just before.
The next few times I used only my finger and incorporated lube which made the initial penetration a lot easier for me. Next I started using the vibrator on my clitoris while I used a finger and fingering until orgasm…..that’s when I saw the light. I thought to myself how come I had no clue about this before? Then one day I decided to use my bullet just to see if i’d like that sensation…the sensation of something vibrating in my anus and I did. My bullet is attached to a string and a remote, I wouldn’t have tried it with one that did not have a string because i’d be too scared that it would get stuck in there lol Crazy I know. Everything was going well in anal exploration. I had a few hiccups along the way so learn from me….
1. Long or newly cut nails…..not a good idea
2. Tried without any lube or wetness…..not a good idea
3. Aiming in the wrong direction..not a good idea. I suggest using a mirror the first few times. You’re alone…so no one’s watching 🙂
Once I got more comfortable with it, I ordered my butt plug. When it arrived I opened the flexi foam and thought Wowsers this is big for a size small lol. I shall warn you that if you’ve never had anything in your ass before….everything looks big so don’t fret. Everything is likely bigger then your finger. The first time I used the plug I was anxious but when I finally got it in I was very happy. It was a challenge but I used the technique that I used with my finger and it wasn’t terribly. I put lube on it and on me..I made sure to have my vibrator on my clitoris before starting any penetration. Once it was in, I used my toy until orgasm…and let me tell you I was seeing stars and stripes.
My Tips for Beginners Solo Anal Play
- Use lube not just saliva or your own wetness. Both can work but when doing it yourself for the first time it will be uncomfortable. Trust me. I read a lot of different things about which lube to use and honestly most of them contradicted the other. Since I knew I have pretty sensitive lady parts I picked up some generic Target brand lube and just hoped that if any leaked down to my vaginal opening that it would not set it on fire. (I need to do a post specifically on the joys of having a sensitive vagina…..insert sarcasm here)
- Use your finger first to find exactly where you should be angling to use it in. The anus is not like the vagina so you can’t just aim anywhere and it’ll go in. You will find out the hard that it is no fun if you just jab at your parts. So use your finger first….trust me
- Use a vibrator…it’s a great distraction. When doing it on your own you may feel a bit anxious. Having something pleasurable going on at the same time will help . I’m not saying insert the vibrator into your vagina, I’m saying to use it for clitoral stimulation. So you can use a bullet and don’t need a dildo for this
- Use the smallest size first, this not a competition and I think gradual progression is best. You can buy a set of three and start with the smallest one first . I will link my plug here if you’d like to try it .
My Experience with Anal Play with a Partner
My first anal experience with a partner was with Wicked and it went pretty well, I was quite pleased. I’ve had interest in anal play for a few years but I’ve always been leary about trying any of it with a partner even when I was married. The reason why it took me until this point was because
1. Knowledge of the situation was very important to me. I had no desire to have my first anal related experiences with someone who also didn’t know what they were doing (that’s just me personally). I know there are people who’d prefer to have first time experiences with someone who also has no experience to make it more special…and I totally understand that. I just knew what I needed was to be able to feel at ease and comfortable so for me knowledge is the start of that.
2. Although it’s more main stream now, people still consider it to be a bit kinky so I didn’t want to bring it up to just anyone. I have my actual kinks and things i’d love to explore that might be considered not the norm and i’m very careful to only share those things with someone I trust.
3. Trust….its just that simple.
For our first time it was only with a finger to start with which was a good choice. I was in a doggy style position and he used the breathing method which i’ll detail in the tip section of this blog. He was knowledgeable, patient and slow which is good. I didn’t feel uneasy or rushed which is important. It was nice and slow nothing too fast. Since then we’ve had some more fingering and it just gets better. Recently we were having a session (sex) and he put his whole finger in which felt really good..his fingers are both longer and wider then mines. It wasn’t just the tip and the depth of it was very nice. I used his vibrator and when I orgasmed it was amazing…..it was so intense I felt like I could cry. Now I will say that my vibrator is a regular one with 20 speeds/pulsations that’s marvelous. I’m sure its pictured in this post…nice and purple. But Wicked’s vibrator…the only way I could describe it as is industrial grade lol. I affectionately call it my toy friend and its the best – Its a Hitachi magic wand…and magic sure is right. If I had to chose a preference my preference is anal play with my partner versus solo but i’m grateful for what the solo play taught me. When someone else is working with you it makes it so much easier to just concentrate on the sensation.
Now I was quite nervous the first time we tried penetration while the plug was in. I thought it was going to be too tight and hurt but surprisingly enough it did not. I won’t say it was the most comfortable thing in the world but it did not hurt. I think it’ll get better in time. We tried it in two different positions….doggy style and missionary . I liked missionary much better between the two. In the doggy style position I felt like I had to poop (don’t worry you don’t actually have to poop) . I don’t just give up easily so I hope to continue to try different doggy style like positions to see which one feels best for me because when it comes to vaginal sex its my favorite position. In missionary I did not have that same poop sensation. It felt good in that position. The plug does move with every thrust so beware and at first it feels awkward but you get used to it.
My tips for Anal Play with a Partner
- Find someone you trust…like actually trust. We’ve all had the unpleasant oops is that your ass I’m aiming into scenario. And not someone that just wants to jab it in the first chance they get. Also you want to make sure this person is patient and willing to go several sessions with you. I think this is the most important tip.
- Use the breathing method. I had heard about it before but hadn’t used it until I was with wicked and it worked wonderfully . Basically your partner tells you when you to push out and as your pushing out he/she starts to slowly push the plug in or their finger. Your pushing out actually works like a suction and in a few short breathes it will suck it up there for you with ease.
- Communication is key
Future Anal Goals
My ultimate goal is to get to a point where i’m ready to try full on anal sex. I think that if my orgasms feel great with fingers and plugs….with a penis’ girth and length it’ll be even better. I believe this is one of those things that works well with gradual progression so I plan to increase the size of my plugs as I get more comfortable in order to prepare me for the size of a cock. In the interim you are welcome to come along this journey with me. – Sadie ❤
My plug pictured above – https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B017CMCPR4/ref=ppx_yo_dt_b_asin_title_o01__o00_s00?ie=UTF8&psc=1
My vibrator pictured above – https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B071LDSX81/ref=ppx_yo_dt_b_asin_title_o04__o00_s00?ie=UTF8&th=1
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